life keeps on flowing..

2011-04-24T17:44:00.002+08:00

oh gosh, i just tried to cram my mind with loads of IT and server knowledge >.< and i am gonna continue doing this for the next week and the weeks after.. even though it's interesting, it's so difficult to make sure that i will be able to absorb and retain the information in my brain.

i need a drug to expand my brain capacity now. and i probably should go watch "limitless".

2011-04-21T23:01:00.002+08:00

i guess i "lucked out"? well, i mean my luck cannot get any worse already and based on my horoscope, my luck is supposed to be quite good this year, so i guess my luck is only going to get better i suppose? kay, enough rambling.

well, i guess being posted to where i am now is rather nice, since physical activities is kept to the bare minimum. however, it is really mentally draining, especially when what you have to learn is something that is totally new to you, and you have to struggle to make sense of it and understand it. somemore, the lesson can drag on and on, and you just feel your eyelids feeling heavier and heavier until you face darkness (which is a definite no-no). i would actually prefer a good mix of both, but i guess you can't have the best of both worlds.

heehee, at least i know that at the end of this, i will have gained some new knowledge which can be very useful (: oh boy, i am looking forward to the weekend!

2011-04-17T22:32:00.002+08:00

one week is simply too short, not to mention, it passes by too fast. >.< nevertheless, it has been a fun and fulfilling one week, and today was simply great. (:

it was great seeing so many familiar faces once again, back in the environment so familiar to everyone. people whom i thought i will never see again (like seriously), well, let's just say i got to see them haha.. and it was fun catching up, listening to updates about the world and people.

as for lunch, it was good with awesome buddies around. ^^ oh man, i hope the buddy line continues! especially when the buddy line is progressing towards being more dramatic, it will be major fun haha.

and now, it's time to be disconnected from this social life and delve into the next phase of my 2-year career.

2011-04-16T21:47:00.002+08:00

it has been very long since i last blogged and a lot of happened. "A" levels is over and the results are even out, my graduation trip to vietnam has begun and ended, moe teaching internship has come and gone, and i am done with bmt.

2010 has been the final chapter of my twelve years of structured education and the year before i turned 19. it has been a great end to the year with the awesome vietnam trip (: absolutely loved the food, scenery and the company we had when we were there.

2011 begins a new chapter and an entirely different story. to me, 2011 just doesn't feel right for me. it doesn't seem like the year when things would go my way. in fact, it feels as though there is one blow after another. there are times when i really feel like giving up on myself and on the verge of breaking down. having never had any major setbacks before, i guess this must be the one time i am being put through a test by the higher beings. oh well, guess i will have to suck it up and pray that good things will come along soon..

"Everything happens for a reason. Every action has a reaction. Always remember that whats meant to be will always find a way to come about."

2010-10-20T22:50:00.000+08:00

yay it's 20102010. boo to the haze.

2010-10-13T22:08:00.002+08:00

okay i just hid my tagboard because there were so many random messages.

feeling so tired everyday. SAVE ME!

2010-10-09T21:38:00.002+08:00

i was told i apparently laugh in my sleep. my sister has been sleeping super late cuz she was studying for her exams and apparently she could hear me laughing in the room. at first she thought i was awake and was laughing at her. but it's kinda weird cuz i am supposed to be asleep. she said she came to see and saw me laughing in my sleep. i have no idea if i do that everyday, but she heard me for 2 of the nights during which she burned the midnight oil. and the laughter gets louder o.O the thing is, i don't even think i was dreaming but it sounded as though i was really super happy with something.

now that's really weird. i have heard of people grinding teeth, sleep walking, sleep talking, but not really laughing. well, at least i don't sleep with my eyes open now, that can really be scary. i remember my aunt thought i was still awake when i had an overnight stay at her house last time.

用你给我的翅膀飞我懂这不是伤悲
再高都不会累我们都说好了
用你给我的翅膀飞我感觉己够安慰
乌云也不再多我们也不为谁掉眼泪

2010-10-08T23:15:00.001+08:00

badminton today was great (: it has been such a long time since i last played.

2010-10-05T20:23:00.003+08:00

hahaha, it's funny seeing that the tagboard is being attacked with all the dubious links which i don't even dare to click on..

possibly a merit for h3 chem, but it's kinda sad if i just missed distinction because of a few marks which i am supposed to be able to get if i had been more careful. seriously, i think i am really very careless for the tests this time, even more than before... hopefully i miss distinction by a huge margin. actually, i have no idea if that's supposed to be a happy thought. on one hand, yes, on the other hand, no. arghh

SAT SAT SAT SAT SAT SAT SAT SAT SAT SAT SAT SAT SAT SAT SAT SAT SAT SAT SAT

tomorrow's the last official day of school. goodbye.

and jiggyX reminded me of this old song heehee. NICEEE!

2010-10-04T22:11:00.002+08:00

and....... we hop into october! that's really fast..

prelims went rather okay i guess, but i am still disappointed in my econs. i actually thought it was rather okay, but now i realise i wrote too little and missed out on a lot of details which i know but i just did not write it down. that's just so irritating and i am stuck with a dreadful D. i wish for the day i would score decently in econs. give me a shooting star...

AAABD, i guess i should be contented, since i did improve from promos last year, leaping a grade for all the subjects. and h3 chem wasn't that bad i suppose, though it could be much better since i had really stupid mistakes. as for whether i am getting a pass or a merit, we won't know till we get the progress report, so i shall not bother myself with that since there's no point guessing. distinction hmm.. i won't think of going anywhere near there with my score this time round.

october! which means there is one more month left. GREAT!

2010-09-29T17:44:00.002+08:00

莫名的空虚。不知从何得来，但就是难以甩掉。或许是暂时没有一个明确的目标吧，没有东西做，但明天会更好。

i finished reading two books haha. "stealing shadows" and "artemis fowl and the atlantis complex". admittedly, i didn't really like the newest artemis fowl book as much as the rest in the series, but it was still worth a read. (:

the past few days have been great. bowling, kbox, chatting at tcc, dinner. too bad mindcafe outing was cancelled though.

2010-09-23T22:10:00.002+08:00

i almost missed mooncake festival celebration this year. heehee, lucky i still got to go for it (:

at first it was thought that my relatives would have the gathering on saturday, which would mean i wouldn't be able to go and i was still telling my mum how nice it would be if they celebrated it on the actual day instead (which means yesterday) and not on the weekend before (a saturday which most people would be freer than on a weekday, but not for me who happened to have 2 papers coming up on the monday and tuesday immediately after). lo and behold, haha, this year they decided to put it on the actual day! yay, i am so glad i didn't miss it.

hope for the best for tomorrow!

2010-09-21T19:13:00.002+08:00

OH WHAT AM I GONNA DO ABOUT PHYSICS! ):

2010-09-20T17:55:00.002+08:00

i actually miss studying chinese. random, but in the midst of all these tests, i kind of miss chinese. all the chinese lessons which can be quite hilarious sometimes and boring at other times, and some interesting articles in the textbook. gosh, i feel weird saying this, but some of the articles in the chinese textbooks are really worth reading and can be very interesting. not to mention, chinese as a subject didn't really pose a real big problem to me. and chinese lessons do serve as a distraction to all the science and english as a speaking medium.

oh wells..

2010-09-17T19:21:00.002+08:00

oh gosh, the insane week is over. 2 more subjects down. last 2 to go. so many mistakes for math that could be avoided and i think i just lost my only chance of beating patrick in a math test. the probability was low to begin with anyway haha. need to be more careful rarhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

the photos from the photoshoot wasn't too bad (: in fact, i kinda like some of the angles that the photos were shot from. okay, actually there were only 2 angles that were shot differently from the normal "90 degree angle" haha. i wanna buy a pro camera and play with it! (:

and the video from the studio recording last time is already out lol. it feels weird watching it and listening to what was being said the last time when i was there for the recording. oh well, a refreshing experience for me.

a short weekend break, and then another week begins.

2010-09-13T18:22:00.002+08:00

rarhhhhh, i am super careless. i saw 2-methylbutane and treated it as a 2-butanetoulene. now the answer is completely wrong gahhhh.

okay whatever, i think i still did relatively okay today, though a few marks went flying here and there.

2010-09-11T22:25:00.002+08:00

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

2010-09-08T22:15:00.001+08:00

2010-09-07T18:51:00.003+08:00

haha this self-made mv is quite hilarious XD

2010-09-06T20:58:00.001+08:00

我说我懂了
会不会太快
未来第一天要展开

第一天
我存在
第一次呼吸畅快
站在地上的脚踝
因为你而有真实感

2010-09-06T18:00:00.002+08:00

that day, i happen to be near two people who were chatting about their opinions with regards to some issues and overheard their conversation. i know i shouldn't eavesdrop but they were not making an effort to keep their voices low so i guess there was no harm done even if i happened to catch whatever they were saying. it was quite interesting at first, listening to their views which happen to be similar to each other. after a while, it became rather boring and irritating, because as i continued listening, i realised that the second person would always agree with what the first person had said. thank goodness he does know how to rephrase it in such a way that he isn't exactly parroting, for that would have made it worse.
it's good to have someone of the same mind, but surely you can't have the same views about everything right? after all, you are 2 different people, not the same person. maybe there is something which they have differing opinions of. well, hopefully they have, cuz it's just plain irritating if someone just agrees with everything that others say. it's almost hypocritical.

and the other day, i was on the mrt and i overheard these 3 women talking. it wasn't intentional too, they just happen to be talking slightly louder and i can't help but hear what they were saying. they were chatting in mandarin about how they have boarded the wrong mrt just now going in the other direction.
first woman: ah, this is the correct mrt going to ang mo kio. aiya, took the wrong mrt at khatib just now. lucky we discovered early and got out at yishun.
second woman: ya lor, lucky we discovered, if not we would be traveling in the wrong direction and won't get to ang mo kio in time.
third woman: hai, normally i would check the board at the platform to see if i am taking the correct mrt, but just now the mrt just arrived and we were all rushing for it so i didn't think to check.
first woman: ya lor, actually normally i would check, but i just follow you all mah, thought you all would know.
second woman: actually i would check normally too. then if the mrt has arrived, i would simply ask the person going into the mrt if that mrt is going in the direction where i want to go.
third woman: haha, hey, me too leh! cuz most likely those people going into the mrt would know if my destination is in that direction.
first woman: yea yea yea, me too leh!
then i am left wondering, okayyyy, why is it then that none of you actually bothered to check before going in if you are going in the right direction since that's what all of you claim that you do normally. and i just felt like laughing at their conversation. all of them just refuse to "lose out" to each other, but in fact they have all lost in this case by taking the mrt in the wrong direction.

oh wells, amusing incidents.

2010-09-05T22:49:00.001+08:00

你是阳光但是却能照进半夜里
水能载舟也能煮粥喂饱了生命

2010-09-02T13:54:00.002+08:00

okay, so i have cleared the first and biggest hurdle. is it too much to hope that i will be able to get decent enough grades this time? disappointment after disappointment, enough is enough. i really want to do well for this. please?

tomorrow is going to be the longest day ever, with econs in the morning and h3 chem in the afternoon. why must these 2 fall on the same day?! irritating much -.- i will be glad if i make it through tomorrow. hopefully it will work out well, given the amount of time and effort i have put in.

and if i don't remember wrongly, the tune playing this morning before assembly was from the same movie that had this song in it as well.

2010-08-31T19:31:00.002+08:00

from the start of orientation last year to prelims which will start the day after tomorrow, time really flies.

2010-08-27T23:36:00.003+08:00

today was more or less the last day of school. after 12 years of education, it's hard to imagine what comes next. from now on, our journey is not mapped out for us, but up to us to forge out a path for ourselves. may the force be with us.

and i find this article interesting (:
What to Say When You Have to Say "I'm Sorry"
The 3 kinds of apology, and who they most appeal.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-success/201008/what-say-when-you-have-say-im-sorry

2010-08-25T19:54:00.001+08:00

it's that feeling again..

2010-08-22T22:28:00.002+08:00

omgosh, i just found out something interesting today!

there's actually a day called Left-Handers' Day haha. imagine that o.O and it's on aug 13.

i love being left-handed haha. that's one more day to feel special. (:

HAPPY BELATED LEFT-HANDERS' DAY!

2010-08-21T23:08:00.003+08:00

i think this song is niceee XD too bad i can't find a video better than this. i remembered the KTV version was better but i can't find it on youtube.

haha while i was finding the other video, i found this video too, quite nice (:

COOL!

2010-08-14T21:38:00.001+08:00

"Math tells us three saddest love stories. Parallel lines have the same gradient but are never meant to meet; tangent lines were once together then parted forever; asymptotes can only get closer and closer but will never be together."

2010-08-13T22:44:00.002+08:00

a failed inception outing yesterday, in a lot of ways! yet, the alternative wasn't so bad after all. (:

1. one person couldn't make it, because she was sick. a wise decision, as we later found out. maybe we should have just decided there and then to cancel it cuz 1 person couldn't make it, but no, we still went on with it cuz it has been delayed way too long.
2. we left school late and were due to reach the cinema late, which would have meant that we would have missed the first few minutes of the show. that would have been such a pity, missing part of the show that i waited such a lnog time to go watch.
3. but then, that just did not materialised, cuz when we reach the cinema, we found out that the tickets were sold out. we are just so unlucky. ):

gosh, who would have thought that after the movie has been on the big screen for so long, the tickets are still all sold out. i really didn't expect that to happen, and this must be my first time going to a cinema and finding out that i can't watch a movie that i want to watch because the tickets were sold out. i guess this is a lesson learnt. next time check the number of seats left before going to watch a movie, or else, book the tickets in advance. do not assume that the tickets would not be sold out.

anyway, the alternative wasn't so bad. went on a "food tour" in ion orchard and bought different kinds of food to eat after shopping for a present in orchard cineleisure. (: even so, i would still prefer to watch inception over this nice substitution as an afternoon activity. we need to go watch it before it is out of the cinemas arghhhh!

2010-08-10T15:17:00.002+08:00

i am done with all the reviews! (: and i thought i will never get to see the end of them. that took ages to complete, cuz maybe i have been watching music videos as i was doing it.

2010-08-09T23:25:00.002+08:00

photoshoot was tiring >.< now i am better able to empathize with models. behind that glamourous look is hours of hard work. but actually, apart from it being tiring, i am quite glad with today's photoshoot haha XD at least the pictures taken were better than last year's.. last year's one was quite horrible, at least i thought it was for me lol..

national day. the day most, if not all, singaporeans demonstrate their national pride and spirit. every year, it is usually only this one period when singaporeans declare their love for singapore and you can feel the national spirit in the air, with national day songs playing and the atmosphere in the air that national day brings with it. and of course, there are the national day celebrations held almost everywhere in singapore prior to the big national day parade on 9th august.

this has led some to question if the national spirit is just for show every year, when it is apparently lacking in daily life. well, i don't think so. there is no need for us to pass everyday shouting at the top of our lungs how much we love singapore and singing national day songs to show our patriotism. as long as we feel that pride and joy in being a singaporean, that's enough. personally, i am really proud to be a singaporean and i would never dream of migrating to other countries. to me, singapore will always be my home.

YOG! (:

2010-08-07T22:36:00.003+08:00

national day celebrations at zouk was beyond awesome! (: i am so glad i went for it and not succumb to the mugging temptation. somemore it was the 1st council event of the 30th student council, so it would be good to go soak in the fun haha. okay, i got to admit it started out rather boring for me, listening to bands after bands performing, with only one song that i particularly liked, which was "home". national day celebration, national day song, makes sense? and i have always liked that particular song, which is most often than not sung when we go for overseas immersion programmes and whatnot. that song really radiates warmth and a sense of belonging.

okay, so the first part wasn't really that exciting, that much i have said. but things got better after that, with "don't forget the lyrics", especially that part when everyone started singing the chorus of "we will get there" when the music stopped, even though only one line of lyrics was needed. that happened not once, but twice! loved it! community singing was the best though =D song after song after song and with everyone jumping around you. it was quite fun being in the midst of it all, but it was quite a squeeze and rather hot i must say, even though the air-con was operational. still, i am not complaining haha..

haha, i remember the days when we had to learn the dance for the chorus during primary school days. gosh, that's like 8 years ago.

and 9 years ago, i remember how this song was so loved that we sung it at a friend's birthday party when we were playing some games.

and this really rocks! singing it is simply great! XD

but really, is the national day spirit just like the world cup fever?

2010-08-02T22:44:00.002+08:00

hahaha yes! i passed napfa today.(:

tired, but glad.

2010-07-31T22:35:00.003+08:00

people can be broadly classified into 3 types: those who hold on to their own views very strongly regardless of what others say, those who have their own views but are receptive to other views, and those may have their own views but are easily swayed.

for the first group of people, it's good to have their own mindset. however, they are the extreme kind who are obstinate in holding on to their views even though reality has proven otherwise to them. they will always think that they are in the right and others are, well, wrong in their judgment.

for the second group of people, they are firm in their own views and not easily swayed. they are not easily swayed by other's opinions. only when they discover something for themselves or if they see the reasoning which refutes their belief, then will they develop a change in their opinion towards a certain matter.

for the third group of people, they are the most easily swayed and will willingly adopt and echo the views of others. it's not that they do not have their own views, but rather, it's simply easier to follow the views of others and agree with them. that way, it shows that you are of the same mind and thus it's easier to build rapport, isn't it?

2010-07-30T21:26:00.001+08:00

2010-07-29T21:12:00.002+08:00

the world is complicated. no doubt about it. no denying it. sooner or later, you have to wake up to the truth and discover that it's not a fairytale and well, it never will be.

deciding to take a break for one afternoon, i went to watch Avatar in the library. it was amazing, the scenery and all, but there's really isn't a plot at all, as i was told. still, i enjoyed the movie and it was touching. the love for nature, the faith, the mutual understanding, the loyalty, the trust.

sometimes, all it needs for us to do is just to take a step back, put ourselves in other people's shoes and see things from their perspective. being stubborn and obstinate won't help, especially if you are on the wrong track. we may not be swayed by words, but experiencing the real deal will definitely do much in changing preconceived opinions.

i guess the saying "ignorance is bliss" is true after all. knowing certain facts does indeed messes up your life and at that point in time, you really wished that the truth wasn't right in your face, staring triumphantly at you when you found it. life was better when you were clueless, at least you were not burdened by the truth.

however, time doesn't turn back and you can't hide from the truth. just think of it in another way, that you managed to discover the truth and not be kept in the dark.

We were strangers starting out on our journey
Never dreaming what we'd have to go through
Now here we are and I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

And Life is a road and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever
A Wonderful journey

2010-07-28T21:46:00.006+08:00

status quo.

i am almost recovered haha, just a slight sore throat now. but poor buddy is sick. gosh, "weak" immune system and overworked, it's no wonder this happened. hope you get well soon!

and i still haven't watched INCEPTION! or despicable me. ): initially wanted to go watch inception tomorrow, but too bad it's not possible. never mind, another day then.. or maybe i should just proceed on with it tomorrow and watch with others lol.

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
Others only read of, of the love
Of the love that I loved

gosh, of the ridiculous things that people do 'cuz of "love". haiz, no idea what to say :|

joon, rach, jun sheng, pat

2010-07-27T20:22:00.002+08:00

yay congrats to those who did well in Olympiad! (:

1 more day, and everything will return to normal. and perhaps i will recover by then too, hopefully.

gosh, i saw someone reading "artemis fowl and the atlantis complex" in school today, gives me the urge to just rush to the bookshop and buy it NOW as i am thinking about it. rawrrrr

AND i made an amazing discovery today! maybe i am lag, but i didn't realise tumblr can be so cool until today haha. shall go set up an account and have fun with it (: or rather, i have actually already set up an account just minutes ago and found a nice theme, what's left to do now is just to post something on it to start my tumblr journey XD

2010-07-26T21:28:00.000+08:00

2010-07-26T20:39:00.002+08:00

i think i am falling sickkk >.< ok actually, i am really falling sick. my throat has been feeling sore for the entire day and i expect it will get worse from this moment on.

hmm, was listening to stefanie sun's song..

2010-07-25T22:34:00.003+08:00

i can't believe i forgot about the econs case study today until i was reminded by patrick. crapppp! ): howhowhowhowhow......

on the other hand, it's been such a long time since i went to kenneth's house haha and today was great, even though we were mugging instead of having fun.

few more weeks to go before prelims! :O

2010-07-23T23:31:00.002+08:00

fabulous day today (: can't quite place it, but today just left me with a good feeling. even double econs wasn't just bearable, it was good XD especially with such a nice teacher and having a "picnic" in class haha! and for once i completed my math tutorial way before it was discussed in class so these few days of maths tutorial was generally quite relaxed as i took my time to do my assignment YAY! and i set a record this week for letting the buddy book be in my possession for one week before passing it on. longest ever, besides the june holidays break of course. i expect this will happen more often from now on haha, unless i find time.

and today's icecream was great! (: mmhmmm...

2010-07-22T20:52:00.002+08:00

haha, found out something real interesting. i am not surprised, at least not as much as i thought i would be, but it did amuse me no doubt.

the crossroads, and i am left as confused as ever. or maybe it's not a state of confusion, just slightly undecided and at a loss because things are not in my control and outcomes can go either way. it really stinks. wish i had worked harder.

there's no second chance at life. one chance is all you get. one life, live it.

2010-07-18T21:39:00.002+08:00

15 days after the last post... woah, it's been quite a long while since i last visited. if someone hasn't told me about it, i wouldn't have done a post today haha XD i am just too lazy.

anyway, CTs are alrady over and the results have come back. it's not the kind of results i expected, but what's done cannot be undone, so i just got to live with it. no more chances left from now on..

council reunion had seemed so far away when it was first mentioned, but now it's already over. yesterday concluded my last council event of the year and i am still finding it hard to believe that one year had really gone by so fast. the journey was a pleasant one, filled with challenges along the way.

i desperately need help for gp and econs. there's just a mere few weeks/months left. someone save me! ): i shall go to the library every day after school to study, study, study!

SHE's really awesome. i was just listening to one of their older songs and it's as nice as ever (:

2010-07-03T22:26:00.003+08:00

a lot has been going through my mind these few days. it's really stressing me out, gotta need a break from it. it helps when people are around to listen to you and give you support, just so you won't crumble.

2010-06-21T20:06:00.001+08:00

i have decided not to eat shark's fin ever again.

2010-06-14T22:53:00.002+08:00

you know, it's quite stupid to actually come up with an excuse and not work hard to conceal the truth. like seriously, if you want to lie, at least make sure all tracks are covered. with just a few clicks of the mouse, checking out facebook, i just found out the truth. thanks alot for your facebook update, maybe you forgot that you had to live a lie for a day, or maybe you just can't be bothered. what a jerk.

2010-06-14T21:35:00.002+08:00

oh gosh, i got my 2nd-time-it's-been-repaired phone back! finally... >.< after weeks of using the old phone and having people asking about it, my phone is back! i better make sure it doesn't die on me again before i get a new phone and trade it in. after getting the phone repaired twice, i am so done with it.

2010-06-12T22:43:00.005+08:00

absolutely loved last wednesday! (: it has been so long since i last went out with edward and xp. too bad nigel's in malaysia and can't make it. ): still, i think we managed to have fun. instead of saying we celebrated xp's birthday with him, we might as well say that was simply an excuse to get together. no presents, no nothing. but i guess simply being company is good enough for friends, and the present will arrive (someday, after the CTs). we ate at some jap place in ion orchard (gosh, i forgot the name) for our lunch and i think we talked for quite long before finally ordering our food. random topics just came up when we were deciding what to order and so that kinda delayed the process of ordering food lol. lunch came and go, and we still sat there talking, but that's mainly because we didn't quite know what to do after lunch haha. we only planned to have lunch, and whatever that was going to happen after that was a blank. in the end, xp wanted to sing some songs to let out some feelings so we went to kbox lol. that was kinda unexpected cuz i thought we would simply remain in ion orchard, but we had to walk all the way to orchard cineleisure. oh well, good exercise i suppose. anyway, kbox isn't that ex from now till october, just $8 nett so i am happy that i didn't need to spend much (: and apparently they are promoting a card that allows students to go there free for one month with the purchase of a card for $29.90 if i remember correctly. haha like we will do it when CTs are so near. all in all, a good day spent.

went to the IT fair on Thursday cuz my couz wanted to buy a laptop and i was forced to tag along to help choose haha.. sounds like a joke? too bad it's not. anyway, i found it real boring and you also have to deal with the crowd of people. if i were the one buying a new com, it might have been a different story and i might not feel bored, but well, i ain't the one buying. for a moment, thought i would be able to go dinner with some friends but then in the end, it didn't happen. nvm it's okayy, there's always a next time..

and today's YAH meeting/gathering was great. perhaps cuz the company was great and things are finally starting to look up. i also finally said out what i really wanted to say haha. it's been bothering me for quite long and to say it out really makes me feel better. i am glad i am not the only one who thinks that way. (: hehe and after that went to the staff lounge to play. it's my second time there and a few of us played fooseball while the others played guitar hero. camelia and i kept losing when we partner rarhhh, but then i won a game against her thereafter haha YAY! (:

rushed to my grandpa's dinner celebration at night and had nice food. *yum*

当我才发现就是爱世界变了
当你在传达你爱我手牵着我
当我正想你就是爱天空晴了
当我抬起头你在眼前了

2010-06-07T22:54:00.002+08:00

phew, SAT this time round went rather okay, much better than the last time i did it. i think it was more or less due to the fact that i bothered to study this time round. last time it was really a stupid decision of mine to take it during the hectic period. i aim to do much better this time round; hopefully, that will be the case (: i don't wanna retake another time, and maybe i won't no matter what.

badminton after SAT was a bad choice i made. it isn't the game that was bad. i enjoyed playing after having not played for such a long time. it was the fact that it was so spontaneous on my part that i wasn't even dressed in the proper attire and i can't be bothered to go home and change. in the end, i ended up with two big blisters on my toes. crappp. =X

it's made worse when i went to jurong point the next day. after walking around for two hours, i was already limping on one leg 'cuz the blister was really hurting me.

thank goodness my toe was better today and i made a special trip to school today just to return an overdue library book. met up with kartik for a while and talked more than we studied (the initial intention was to study together for a short while) before going to dhoby ghaut for dinner. originally, there were supposed to be 7 people going for the dinner. in the end, there were only 5 people present. reason? one was sick, well understandable (get well soon!), and the other one totally forgot about it, real champion lol. anyway, it was the first time i really talked to jieying haha. before that, we merely saw each other here and there and chatted briefly that's all.

dinner was really interesting. at first i thought we were going to go off at 8+ cuz everyone seemed ready to leave already, but somemore the more we talked, the more we didn't feel like leaving so stayed all the way till 9.30 hahaha. in that case, the one who forgot about the dinner could have come and join us in fact, but never mind lor, there's always a next time (: actually i can't really remember how we even came to that topic but it just sorta came up.

how would you view love? i found it rather interesting that people can think that we can in fact programmed to love, so that procreation can happen. we may think that it is love that we are experiencing, but in actual fact, we are only programmed to think of it in this way. all of us are simply programmed in such a way so that procreation can take place and there can always be evolution. in a way, kinda like matrix. it kinda makes some sense i guess but if everyone thinks of it in this way, then we will always be doubting everything around us.

and really, isn't it simpler to think of it as simply having someone special as your companion, one whom you can confide in and who occupies your heart? i think this type of love is called companion love or sth.. compared to passionate love, i think this type of love is definitely more long-lived.

as for criterias that you are looking for in someone, it really doesn't act as a guide. no matter what criterias you may have, your feelings still rule over the criterias that you have set. in the end, the person you choose may not be your ideal partner, but to you, he/she will still be your mr/miss right. till you meet the person, you can say all the criterias you want your ideal partner to fulfil. in most cases though, the criterias don't really matter in the end.

similarly for false scenarios, you will never know what you will do till the scenarios come true. say all you want, but what really matters is what you will do when faced with that scenario. the feeling you get when you listen to a false scenario and when you are in that situation is very different, and the decisions you make may turn out to be different from what you thought you would do.

haha great dinner and great people, too bad zoe is sick ): and keng chee is muddle-headed.

你说我爱你太多
就快要把你淹没
你害怕幸福短暂一秒就崩落
分开是一种解脱
让你好好的想过
我想要的那片天空
你是不是能够给我

你说我给你太多
却不能给我什么
分不清激情
承诺永恒或迷惑
爱情是一道伤口
我们各自苦痛
沉默是我最后的药
是因为我太爱你

2010-06-02T22:14:00.010+08:00

haven't blogged in such a long time. the last week of school just went by so fast and it's already into the first week of june hols! (:

the only important thing about the last week of school was the oh-so-important GP CT. i thought i did relatively ok, but on hindsight, i think i screwed up :S i can't believe i actually did an essay question on the govt, one of the topics that i promised myself i will never do. and the vocab section in the compre was just epic fail. then there was AQ which was never my strength in GP. looking back, it definitely wasn't a paper well done -.-

oh and i almost forgot! there was also the guitar concert on thu, the last day of school! gosh, how could i forget the guitar concert that keng chee was performing in? :P haha, it was a good performance and a good closure to a hectic school term. somemore, i didn't have to pay cuz i was an usher. so cool, first time being an usher for a performance (okayy, maybe not). but still, definitely an experience gained. even though i didn't have to pay, the trade-off was that i had to be there earlier. but then again, dinner was provided. so if you add here, subtract there, add somewhere else and then subtract again and so on, i think in the end i still gained (well, more or less). ultimately, all those didn't actually matter. it's still really about supporting keng chee in his last school performance and listening to the wonderful performance being put up by the ensemble (:

jerald's camwhoring skillz, not bad =D

a proper shot!

friday was a rest day since it was a public holiday. =D

and so came saturday, which was dept handover and the great audio experience. dept handover wasn't really anything special, but it was great seeing everyone. it felt even more awesome during our hand over to the next batch, cuz as i heard all that we had achieved as a dept in the past year being mentioned, it really warmed my heart and it made our hard work all worth it. lunching together was great, the feeling slightly marred though by the fact that i was having a stomachache.
then it was off to THE GREAT AUDIO EXPERIENCE! omg, i had no idea that there was a total of 1200 people, now that's quite a lot of people WOAH! it was real fun and a new experience. hehe, the feat was even in the singapore book of records, am i right? too bad i had no camera and couldn't take any videos of all the actions that were done as everyone followed the instructions on the radio. some were quite ridiculous haha. anyway, some photos i ripped off facebook..

group photo! (:

ahhhh, the thing is INVERTED! ):

on sunday, went to the airport in the morning cuz my sister was flying off to vietnam! haha, first time she is going overseas alone and i just felt weird haha. maybe cuz i have never thought of her going overseas alone before, as in, i never imagine that there would come a day when she would be independent enough to go overseas on her own without any family members at her side. funny that the same thought didn't occur to me when i went on my first trip overseas with the school in sec 1. i guess it's just the process of growing up. as we grow up, we become more independent and able to take care of ourselves. parents also feel safer to let us leave their sides to go to someplace far away.

coming back to the main, i went to watch "shrek forever after" with my family on monday. gosh, it has been so long since i went to watch a movie with my family =D the movie was great and heartwarming! forever after indeed...

then today there was the (half)class gathering and celebration of ms mok's birthday, who happens to be our civics tutor. the cake was yummy (: and i guess we had a fun time bowling today, laughing over the fail scores and simply chilling out.

on to other news, i am freaking out over SAT! i really don't want to do badly this time round. this is the second time i am doing it and i really want this to be the last time i am taking it. come on, i need to do it well! and and and... there's a new digimon series coming out! XD after so many years, the developers finally come up with a new series YAY! i am really interested to see if it's gonna be good.. then there's also the new artemis fowl book, which is also coming out soon! woohoo!

我们用爱打造
原谅过往再拥抱希望

2010-05-28T16:27:00.001+08:00

2010-05-24T20:48:00.004+08:00

invest, final night, startup -- all over in one week

2010-05-20T22:10:00.002+08:00

24 hours from now. everything will end ):

commzd. openhouse. highlights. elections.

all the fun times, the fond memories, the tiring moments, the pissed-off comments made.

it's time. to add a fullstop.

2010-05-17T22:35:00.003+08:00

tiring day even though there wasn't any school lessons today :S had invest rehearsal in the morning and then afternoon was spent discussing start-up. crappp, this week is gonna be another hectic week.

my sister is off at OBS and the house feels kinda empty and quieter than usual...

2010-05-15T21:33:00.002+08:00

woah reached home rather early on friday XD first time in a very very long time... spent the afternoon sleeping away though cuz i was rather tired -.- and woke up feeling super hot and sweaty. the weather simply is terrible nowadays..

yesterday night was great though XD thanks!

------------------------------------------------
Youth Against Tobacco (YAT) workshop today! woke up feeling super giddy and when i traveled to national library for the workshop, really felt like vomiting >.< it took a while before i felt better.. i guess what i liked most about the workshop was the sharing session about a personal experience. it was relatively easy to relate to and it presented a different perspective which helped in understanding the mindset of someone who wants to quit smoking and how best to help him/her. we all know that a direct approach of telling a smoker to quit smoking will not work and the advice may end up falling on deaf ears. worse still, it might make the smoker more rebellious. what we really need to do is to find out the root of the problem, the motivation behind a person's smoking and work towards targeting the problem. instead of preaching, which everyone all know how to do, we should be a close pillar of support that the smoker can turn to and help him in overcoming his addiction if he intends to quit.

at least something good came out of it today.. been feeling frustrated with something since the morning and if the sharing session didn't catch my attention, i would have been super irritated by the time the workshop was over.

2010-05-12T23:19:00.002+08:00

rarhhhh, have been sick for the past few days. just woke up on monday morning having a slight flu and things started to go downhill from that moment. oh gosh, this is such a lousy period to fall sick.. had flu, slight cough and sore throat, but the worst was the headache -.- i haven't had this kind of headache for a super long period of time, and i had to drag my heavy head whenever i go and try to focus.

for now, my voice is more or less gone now, becoming rather hoarse and sounding very different indeed after going for 2 MS despite the cough and sore throat. hopefully, tomorrow will be better and i don't end up losing my voice. it was super scary to lose my voice for the few previous times, want to talk also cannot talk..

at least i am feeling so much better now compared to the past 2 days (:

2010-05-09T19:09:00.002+08:00

hmm, studio recording was quite a good experience.. i have always wondered how it is done, and i saw it for myself yesterday haha. i am quite fascinated by it. (: hope i didn't do that badly during the discussion though =X

arghhh, made a super stupid mistake today, when i had initially thought that no one would be that careless to make this kind of mistake. sianzzz. seriously, what was i thinking? -.-

2010-05-04T21:50:00.003+08:00

the chocolate in the morning really brought a smile to my face. (: it was completely unexpected and to receive such a wonderful surprise in the early morning really brighten up the day. in fact, today would be a rather lousy day without the chocolate ughh. so thanks!

today's physics lesson just told me that my understanding of physics has drastically dropped. i am finding it difficult to remember the formulas and apply it to the questions. zZz. or maybe it's because the questions that were given were slightly tougher. whatever the case, it's time to hit the notes before tomorrow's lecture test. and math was just bad. i am still trying to understand the topic of vectors and we are already more than halfway through the tutorials. gp lesson was just spent copying comprehension answers in silence without explanations, just great. and chem SPA didn't really go as well as intended.

now to do some math and physics in preparation for tomorrow.. -.-

2010-05-02T21:43:00.005+08:00

the first time i heard about the movie "enchanted", i thought it would not be a nice show. that was before i got dragged to watch it, which changed my opinion. it's a funny and heartwarming movie with wonderful songs and i like it. (: guess that's probably why i watched it again on tv just now haha.

great, i was trying to do math tutorial in the afternoon and i got stuck at this question for super long before i gave up and went to do other stuff instead. =X it really annoys me when i can't figure out how to do a question cuz i will keep thinking about it and refuse to move on, which makes me waste a lot of time and brain cells over it zZz. oh well, shall take a look at it again later and see if i can figure it out. (oh great! actually i JUST did!)

chem spa first on the list next week! followed by physics lecture test, then econs case study.
-groan-

2010-05-01T00:18:00.004+08:00

gosh, i have had PE lessons for a few weeks with this new PE teacher who is currently taking our class for PE and i didn't even realise that he was my PSL 5 years ago. oh gosh, how fail. at the same time, oh gosh, so many years have passed, i feel much older.

anyway, CO concert was rather nice i must say, better than what i had expected anyway. or rather, i didn't really expect anything since i was more or less just there to support patrick in the first place. well, at least i had fun listening to the pieces, so not too bad (:

i am so proud of my buddy!! XD good job buddy on getting your post!

---------------------------------------------------------
and i am just so sunburnt now -.- everyone just keeps commenting on it lol. does it really look that bad??! ok, maybe it does.

2010-04-28T22:14:00.002+08:00

peranakan food this afternoon was rather nice (: but i guess besides the food, i am afraid i didn't really learn anything much about peranakan culture today, or rather, more than what i have already known. sorryyyy! but stillll, it was nevertheless enjoyable, especially when you have weird table games. -.- luckily, there was no one else sitting in the same area as us, it was quite loud and embarrassing.

initially wanting to reach home by 6pm today, i ended up reaching home at 8pm. that is roughly around the same time i would have reached home if i went for the entre gathering, which i didn't really wanted to go cuz it would end late. oh well, duty calls so no choice but to reach home late, not that i really mind a lot haha.

great! i am going to support kartik in cricket tomorrow (: first time ever i am watching a cricket match, and i am also missing all my lessons for this match support except for maths. in fact, match support ends later than the time my usual lessons end. all the best tmr!

2010-04-26T20:36:00.003+08:00

we live in a world full of deceit and lies, there's no denying that. no matter how wonderful you imagine the world to be, it isn't always painted in rainbow colours. you will never be able to know what's on another person's mind. he can appear to be friendly and all, but there may be a hidden dagger hidden beneath that smile.

i guess i have heard enough of it. it's really never-ending, isn't it? just when i thought everything is past, it comes back again, bigger and greater than ever. great. just great.

but anyway, it doesn't really concern me so i don't really want to care about it. just let it be and hopefully things will die down soon. right now, i should be getting more concerned about money problems; class funds, learning journey and presents ughhh, i am sure spending a lot of money!

MACKBERCIL! (:

2010-04-24T23:14:00.002+08:00

there are some nights when you just feel so alone, and there are some nights when you just feel so bored. yet, there are some other nights when you just feel so happy and carefree.

the double helix bridge was nice, apart from the fact that there were so many people today and it turned out to be quite a squeeze. still, we managed to have fun. it was just so awesome being there walking on the bridge, taking photos and taking in the sights and sounds. but i didn't really find the fireworks that nice haha..

“If out of all mankind one finds a single friend, he has found something more precious than any treasure, since there is nothing in the world so valuable that it can be compared to a real friend.”

2010-04-23T21:10:00.003+08:00

it was raining when i went home today and the sky was ominous looking. in fact, the weather has been like that almost every day for the past week. what really caught my attention was the bright lightning that emerged out of the dark sky. it looked so beautiful, illuminated against the dark background of the grey sky. the bigger it gets, the more striking the scene. yes, terrifying (especially with the accompanying thunder) but, at the same time, really a wonder. i was amazed at the sight of it, and it would have been better if not for the fact that lightning could really strike someone and be fatal. what may seem pleasing to the eye may not be as harmless as we think it is, indeed.

and i can't believe i just helped two people whom i don't know solve their money problems. it's kinda funny how money can actually destroy friendship when it's simply a small misunderstanding and can be solved very easily. i had to be asked by one party to be the mediator and explain the misunderstanding to the other party. why can't they just say it straight to one another? money is the root of all evil. i guess that's true to some extent. just like how "fear is the root of war".

2010-04-22T23:23:00.003+08:00

it gets frustrating when everything is just suddenly dumped onto you without any prior notice and you are expected to handle everything. and you just got to tolerate and deal with it, because there's just no alternative. and it gets worse when you seem to not be given any respect when your help is being asked. it's as though it's your obligation to just do what you are asked to do, there's no hint of a polite request, but maybe a slight gesture of thanks did help to ease some of the soreness of, but not quite. thank goodness for people who are understanding.

it's hard to just listen to all the reasons which you really feel like rebutting, but you know it will just make everything much worse. it's the kind of situation where you understand the reasons and the difficulties faced, but then again, you simply don't agree with it.

2010-04-20T22:24:00.002+08:00

how would things have turned out if we had acted differently? would life be much better or worse if another course of action had been taken? perhaps, perhaps not, we would never know because it will always remain a possibility, something that is out of reach forever, for we have chosen the path to walk on and there's no turning back. we just have to keep on going.

be glad with what you have gained, not what you have "lost". if you never had it in the first place, there's no way you can lose it.

2010-04-15T23:47:00.002+08:00

council camp starts tomorrow. it's strange how time passes so fast. just one year ago, we went into the camp as 29th elects. one year later, the 29th council. i really cannot imagine that our term is really coming to an end. feels sort of weird actually to suddenly not have anything on hand. i guess that's human nature. you feel as though you have no time when you have a lot of work to do and wish that you can have less to do, but when you have nothing to do, you just feel empty and wish there was something that you can get your hands on.

today really wasn't my day in school, but at least the night made up for it (: dinner was great!

2010-04-14T17:57:00.002+08:00

i just love it when meeting venues are set to be near my house. (: which means i can go home from school, chill and relax until it is time to meet. it saves me the trouble of traveling so far to the meeting venue too. oh well, i guess that's the advantage of a newly renovated northpoint. XD speaking of which, i haven't really explored the whole of it yet, which is rather ironic given that i live so near it -.- maybe i will use the chance tomorrow to go there slightly earlier and have a look around the shopping centre.

isn't it such a coincidence? my council buddy turns out to be the ogling of my 3 good friends! =D

2010-04-13T21:06:00.001+08:00

sunburnt >.<

red. raw. like a cooked prawn.

but who cares about that when you have thursday to look forward to? (: thu night shall be great!

2010-04-11T22:35:00.002+08:00

i am rather satisfied with my grades this time i guess, even though i know it's not very good. at least my econs has made some improvement so i am quite glad with that.

it does everyone no good when a person shirks responsibility and it can be very annoying. this is especially so when manpower is already limited and things can get very messy when people just decide to not do what they are supposed to do. i believe everyone should exercise some social responsibility, since no one would like to play the victim.

then again, there are some incidents which really warm your heart. some things that you never really expected to come your way, it comes as a pleasant surprise when they are presented right in your face. to be appreciated, that really puts a smile to one's face. yet at the same time, it can have the effect of making you feel guilty if you have not done enough.

today marks a great end to the last week, and is a good start to the coming week! (: i was so excited how today would turn out and it really made my day! all that planning not for nothing then XD

family is important, no matter what may happen.

2010-04-03T22:03:00.002+08:00

it has been a long time since i last came here.

wednesday was espresso day (: last dialogue session of our term and i am glad that the turn-out was better than predicted. after all, lots of effort have been spent on this to make sure that everything goes right this time round and i must say, logistics wise and deployment wise, it was good =D having facilitated and scribed twice during the other 2 dialogue sessions, i decided to sit out for this one instead and ended up talking about random issues in the corner of the room. clean-up of boardroom followed and i am so glad that the room looks so much better without all the rubbish pile-up that everyone has been enduring for a few months. a pleasant sight no doubt, with everything tidy, organised and clean. ended off with commzd dinner where we had fun simply talking and random weird issues being brought up every few minutes.. haha.

thursday was simply dry run in the morning and early afternoon so nothing much to talk about for that. evening was internal welfare where it's all about dinner and chilling. oh well, as usual, you will have all the card games and loud noises. what i would have preferred would be some nice background music and chatting in groups. after all, it's nearing the end of the term and it would be nice to talk about experiences and own thoughts, which is why the swing was a good spot to hang out while everything was being loud and playing card games in the room =) quiet, calm, peaceful, a good place to have a nice talk. i can't help but wish that i was back at the esplanade sitting by the river, feeling the slight breeze and thinking about life and all that it brings.

friday was class outing to kbox (: oh well, it was just lunch at kbox but i think everyone who went had fun, or most at least. really thanks to those who couldn't make it, or rather, backed out at the last minute. it really made the person organising the outing feel so worth postponing the class outing to a later date just cuz you said you wanted to go and could make it, but didn't turn up in the end. if we didn't have to postpone it, perhaps more people might be able to make it, instead of having had to miss out on it.

as for today, YAH meeting in the morning. i really don't know how to feel about it. it was great seeing everyone that i have not seen for ages. on the other hand, i totally felt that the meeting was rather unproductive. given that this is the second year, i would expect that more things would be in stall for us. true, there are more events coming up that we have to plan for, but it's still pretty messy and if we don't tidy it up, we will end up like what happened last year, when things were not planned out properly right from the start and we had to rush some things sometimes, making it less of a bang than it should have been. :S for this year, i had really wanted us to be the ones setting the direction but it just does not seem to be the case. i wanted us to have a work plan so that we would know when our peak periods will be and when to start planning for the events, in a bad to prevent us from rushing through when we start late on our planning. it would also help everyone to plan their schedule and block out the dates that they will be busy doing YAH stuff. right now, there's a calendar which helps to see when the event dates are, but all the different sub-comm events are mixed together and it's quite messy, and it doesn't tell you when to start planning, so we really need the work plan out fast to at least guide us along. we really cannot afford to be like last year again. last year was kinda like a warm-up starting ground, but this year we have to raise our profile. doesn't the analysis given to us during the retreat tell us this fact? and of cuz, given everyone's different schedules, shouldn't we get hold of everyone's schedule so that it would be easier if we want to set a meeting date? lastly, don't tell me a president can double up as a secretary, because it just does not work that way. why then would there be a differentiation between "president" and "secretary"? because their roles indeed differ.

sometimes, i don't even know if the suggestions i made even make a difference at all, cuz opinions differ and the suggestions might just get easily brushed off. whatever, for now, just gonna make sure our subcomm does our work well, and hopefully everything will fall into place. and maybe eli will be able to push for the more feasible suggestions that i thought of with her help on the trip home today. actually, i am rather confident that they will be accepted cuz it's really necessary that we have those.

2010-03-30T23:36:00.001+08:00

smokers, why do they chose to smoke their lives away?

everytime i walk past a smoker, the smoke that gets to me will forever smell so horrible, i don't even get why people would want to even try their first puff, and ultimately get hooked on it. it's so not worth it to damage your health, destroy the environment and burn away your money just because of smoking.

even with the horrible advertisements, it does not seem to deter people from smoking. ok, those who are addicted to it will be unable to stop buying it, but what about those who are thinking of starting their "career" in smoking? i just don't get why people don't treasure their health.

well, maybe it's because teenagers often just associate health with obesity, smoking and aids, and they have the mentality "why bother to stay healthy? i am young and invincible." therefore, they are not too concerned with health.

however, health is an important aspect of life. perhaps the value of health just isn't very obvious and it is only when people's health really starts to deteriorate then they realise that they still have a lot of unfulfilled wishes that has yet to be accomplished which they are unable to carry out due to poor health.

mental health in particular, is often neglected. most of the time, people suffer emotional setbacks and they have no one to turn to, leading to them being unstable emotionally. cases like these are often overlooked as these people tend to appear normal when in fact they may be fighting an emotional battle within, and people who are not observant enough or concerned enough to care will just let them be. most ultimately result in depression and suicide cases.

it's a sad reality that people nowadays are less concerned about health.

2010-03-29T18:52:00.003+08:00

chem result was just as i have predicted, so it didn't came as much of a surprise.

i thought i did relatively ok in econs, but after the teacher has gone through the brief outline of what should be included in the essay, i don't feel so sure anymore..

and it's just so sad i didn't get a chance to win that ipod touch ): when will i ever get to win a lucky draw???!

life's precious.
treasure it. and the people around you.

-------------------------------------------------
剩下我们坐在岸边看着她越走越远
白色星星迎着海面沙滩好远
而他的心去了哪里我们都无能为力
是谁的手能牵他回来

does she know? don't think so.
爱上了同一个遗憾恍然明白
那时候为何要对彼此为难
tell me she know, i don't think so.
我们都不属於她的爱
不能重来的伤害我们都学会了释怀

两个朋友一个最爱不可能有的未来
只是结局却让我们如此意外 yeah~
她的决定终於坦白开了玩笑的安排
怪谁的错我们都失败

does she know? don't think so.
爱上了同一个遗憾恍然明白
那时候为何要对彼此为难
tell me she know, i don't think so.
我们都不属於她的爱
不能重来的伤害而我们学会了释怀

does she know? don't think so.
爱上了同一个遗憾恍然明白
那时候为何要对彼此为难
tell me she know, i don't think so.
我们都不属於她的爱
不能重来的伤害而我们学会了释怀

2010-03-27T23:59:00.000+08:00

life after cts have been... well, it's kinda different from life before cts definitely XD

movies, lunches, simply hanging around and walking around aimlessly, it's just life's simple joy that makes us all so happy sometimes. "how to train your dragon" had been a nice movie (: at first i thought it was some super kiddy show that was bound to not be nice, but it turned out to be otherwise. funny, predictable yet unpredictable kind of fantasy storyline.. was actually intending to watch "remember me" but it was not available at junction 8 which is simply too bad. got to go watch it some other time then..

youth health symposium went rather well i suppose and i hope everyone had fun XD loved the forum theatre "run nora run"! it was simply great and participation was fabulous too! the workshop that i attended regarding mental health wasn't as good as i expected it to be though ): i expected it to be much more interactive and interesting, but it was quite dry and didn't really capture attention.

i feel so tired from reaching home late everyday and waking up early in the morning >.< hope i will be able to sleep in tomorrow and not wake up so early. i hate it when i want to sleep in and mmy biological alarm clock just wakes me up earlier than i want to.

expectations is not just about what you want from yourself and others, but also what others want from you. expectations differ from person to person due to the different roles that they take up in different situations and they react differently depending on their gender, roles, priorities, personality and goals, thus leading to crossroads in life. we are often presented with a dilemma of choosing between 2 or more decisions towards a given situation due to differences in expectations. what you want from others may not be what others want from you. thus, to avoid a emotional conflict due to misunderstandings, we should always understand the rationale behind the differing expectations and try to work out the differences to reach a compromise.

*yawn* it's 12.30am now

2010-03-24T18:13:00.004+08:00

add chem to econs to make it another one of my failure subjects. i was totally out of time to finish the paper, and when i meant i didn't finish and am officially screwed, i really mean it. i am preparing myself to get either a D or E, or i might hopefully scrape a C which is highly unlikely.

for those who just lost merely 8-10 marks, don't act like it's the end of the world and say that you will fail. for someone like me who is already on the verge of failing due to the major amount of marks lost just for having blank answers, i am already hoping against hope that that will be the maximum amount of mark i will lose and not fall into the failing range. so forgive me for thinking that you are just plain hypocritical. why not just admit that you did relatively ok instead of telling me that you did very badly too. and when the results come back, i will get my mark as predicted while you will be scoring high marks. well, i can say i am not very surprised, cuz you are obviously lying when you tell me you did badly and act as though you will get a low mark when it's contrary to the truth.

physics will be the last paper tomorrow. hopefully it won't turn out like chem. in trying to better my grades from ct1 last year, chem has already lost the battle but i am hoping for the best for the other subjects. got to start practising more for chem and stop lagging behind.

anyway, can't wait for tomorrow morning to end! (: the fun starts tomorrow.

2010-03-22T14:23:00.006+08:00

i have a feeling today's econs test didn't go too well, wrong answers, imcomplete answers.. but at least i had fun writing this time. normally it would be a mad rush for time and i would be suffering from lack of stuff to write. this time round, everything was much clearer and i could more or less understand what i am writing which is considerably much better than last year.

let's just hope for the best (:

(was finding the lyrics for super long but didn't manage to find it till now YAY)
海变成陆地
快乐的能变成悲剧
那么爱会不会变成了麻痹

沙变成天梯
丑陋的能变成美丽
那么你会不会变成我的仇敌

我不是挑剔
可怕的变局
随时都在背后偷袭

时间会把我把你
都变成了灰烬
从勇气变距离
没有人能够保证
永远在一起

时间会把我把你
都变成了回忆
那时候有没有
一个不会为时间
而变化的你

分开追逐著相聚
辛酸渴望著甜蜜
我们都是一样
穷得只剩下空虚

我买不起
我不确定
绝望谷底有没有奇迹

时间会把我把你都变成了灰烬
从勇气变距离
不变的幸福
只是一种距离

时间会把我把你都变成了回忆
那时候有没有
一个是你爱我我爱你最完美的结局

还是
我变成了你最想忘记的回忆

2010-03-21T21:53:00.002+08:00

another song from "the illusionist" (:

2010-03-20T21:45:00.002+08:00

perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

perhaps i was wrong about her.
perhaps i was just too insistent of my own views
perhaps i needed to get the full picture.

still, it doesn't change the fact that we are different. we operate differently, think differently. it's like two ends of a stick, maybe just a 10cm stick cuz the difference isn't really that big. well, in fact, humans can't be all that different from one another i guess, compared to fish and tadpole. but being different doesn't mean we cannot coexist, or even work together (:

2 more days to CTs, i am really feeling the stress building up. i am just so unprepared ):

it's a small world we live in

2010-03-19T22:12:00.002+08:00

burnt-out >.< i wish for next week to come and go.

2010-03-17T23:16:00.002+08:00

"miracles do happen" - the illusionist, last episode today by the way

i certainly do want to believe in it, but miracles, being miracles, are really hard to come by. every time you wish for a miracle to happen, there is just a probability of 1 in a zillion that it will happen, or maybe an even smaller probability. oh well, there's a reason why they call it miracle and not pure good luck.

time and tide waits for no man, and quite obviously, we can't go back in time, although i won't deny i want to. cherish those fond memories and bury them in the treasure chest in your heart. times change, events happen and people change, drastically for some too.

and 变化 is a really nice song! (:

2010-03-15T22:23:00.003+08:00

1 week is barely enough time to finish studying all the topics that will be tested. ):

think i am roughly done with physics, shall move on to math and then tackle the 2 toughest subjects, chem and econs. organic chem is really torturing me, there's just so much to remember, all the conditions and reagents. slowly getting the hang of it though...

there's so much to do, so little time.

2010-03-13T23:51:00.004+08:00

last day of term yesterday. definitely was a relief to see the end of the school term, i thought it would never come.

dramafeste was nice and varied, especially hh's and mt's performances. they are really good and i enjoyed it. was actually intending not to go since i was quite lazy to buy tickets and found no one to go watch with, but i am happy that i went in the end.

then went to NUS open house today with some people. oh well, i only went there to take a look around and got all the brochures that's all. didn't really listen to all the talks and was essentially just there for around an hour only.

and the whole afternoon till night was spent on leisure when i should be studying lol. well, but it was fun hanging out with the og, singing, eating cake, mahjong. then went to plaza sing at night.

i shall start mugging officially tomorrow afternoon! hope i keep my word..

"the mtv shows how people do not know how to cherish their love ones when they are young; and betray the trust laid upon them by their love one. and remind people to cherish the people they love, as once they are gone, u will nv be able to seek them back again."

2010-03-11T22:16:00.002+08:00

and thus concludes ssef 2010. preparation and set-up on tue, judging on wed and showcase + results today.

it has been a long and winding road leading up to ssef. from the selection test for srp, to getting past it, to finding a project, to doing research and completing the project, it has been by no means an easy task. throughout the whole process, there have been people who dropped out due to busy schedules, people who just cannot be bothered to carry on, but we persevered and hung on till the very end, and i think we should be happy about that. after all, throughout the journey, we learned something new, experienced something we have not encountered before, enriched ourselves and most importantly, pursued our interest and didn't give it up even though we had other stuff to worry about.

even though we didn't win anything in the end, i still think we have gained much from this experience. it's more about the experience gained than the win. like how someone put it, the award is something like "the icing on the cake", what matters most is the knowledge and experience gained that you walk away with. true, there may be a slight disappointment, but we shouldn't brood too much over it, look forward to the future and many other opportunities await (:

by the way, the science centre is quite fun to explore. it has been so long since i last went there and today really brought back memories, coupled with laughter from simply exploring the new things and doing dumb things with friends. =D

--------------------------------------------------------
some really nice quotes:

"today was the day i realised how loosely woven the fabric of relationships can be. a tug or two at one of the threads can cause it all to unravel."

relationships just tend to be in a state of flux, don't they? simply a wrong word, wrong move or the lack of action can set it spinning off in the wrong direction.

"the funny thing about being alone is that you want to break out of it. you want the loneliness to go away, but at the same time you don't really want to spend time with others. how many times, in state of loneliness, have you heard someone say "i just want to be alone."
~~you hate it but that's all you want. usually the only company that can help chase the loneliness away is the one you can no longer have."~~

people just need their own personal space sometimes, when they meet with a rough patch, yet at the same time, they wish that they could share it with someone.. kind of conflicting isn't it? to wish to isolate yourself but also wish for someone to drive your loneliness away..

"when you break up with someone, you don't stop loving them. you start examining the love you shared."

hey, it does make sense! i guess..

2010-03-08T23:12:00.003+08:00

"oh i believe cause i believe
那幸福不灭的定律
你的手心不一定要由我握紧
就像恒星总会有发光的原因" (:

it feels good to be free of your burden, doesn't it? sometimes, people don't even realise that they are being weighed down by something until they are relieved of it. it is only at that moment that they feel considerably lighter and happier which made them realise that what they have been doing has actually been adding to the weight that they are carrying atop of many other things. what they consider a "to do" is actually adding to their burden and they never stop to realise that until they decide to let it go. and it is then understood that they never had to take the responsibility, for it was never their responsibility, but one that you chose to place it upon yourself.

the complexity of human nature is what makes the world tick, for everyone has a mind of their own and it is the interactions between humans that make the world an interesting world to be in. if everyone is of the same simple mind, the world would be following a sequence like a robot and it would be such a boring place, or perhaps you won't realise since you are trapped like all the others in the world with a simple mind. but it is the complexity which makes everyone difficult to figure out. you never truly know what's going on in one's mind and whether the words that come out of the mouth truly comes from the heart, or perhaps it's just the words of a hypocrite. you never know how wrongly you can judge a person. you are trapped in the world of truths and lies.

oh well, that's just life.

2010-03-07T22:37:00.004+08:00

some people just have way too many commitments, i sometimes wonder how they can handle so many things at a time. but then again, maybe they are made of a stronger material to keep to their various commitments. well, hope they really can do it and not lose steam halfway. for me, i would rather not deal with too many..

yesterday set me thinking, do i really want to give up doing something that i have a passion for just because of the all-too-easy excuse of being busy? truth, everyone is busy so it's not a real excuse. it all depends on whether we truly feel for it and want to make time for it. and it would be fun too...

splitting headache yet again, literally, not figuratively.

by the way, do check out http://www.notsosecretlives.com/ (:

2010-03-04T23:32:00.002+08:00

reached home rather late for the past 2 days, but they have been great (: and weiqi IHC has rekindled my interest in weiqi haha, i feel like attending weiqi training sessions to see if i can learn more about weiqi cuz i have forgotten pretty much everything that i have learnt. it was also fun playing weiqi with hojoonting in the hodge lodge today haha. for someone who just learnt the basics from me, it's quite good that you know how to place your pieces on the board HAHA! i think learning chinese chess would be good too, get your lost childhood back LOL. ;)

today's chem lecture test went quite baddd. oh well, organic chem is really hard to digest ): you read the next set of notes and you tend to forget the previous set of notes. ahhh, really need more practice i guess, or rather i need to start practising.

i wanna watch "alice in wonderland", it somehow looks quite good and i haven't been watching movies for super duper long ): AND i happen to still have a free ticket =D can i go watch it with someone please please?

2010-03-01T22:27:00.003+08:00

fate.
just when i made up my mind to do something for once, some unforeseen circumstances made it impossible to do so. somehow, this is exactly how i imagined it would play out, though the scenarios were definitely different.

gonna participate in ihcweiqi on wednesday (: oh gosh, i haven't played weiqi for super long, gonna enjoy playing it whether i win or lose!

2010-02-28T22:29:00.004+08:00

i thought i would be able to clear a lot of stuff by today. apparently not >.< if only there can be a timeless dimension that we can disappear to for as long as we want and when we come out from it, time will not have passed. impossible dream.

feeling rather nervous/stressed-up when i think of the next few weeks. CTs coming up in a few weeks' time and i still need to catch up on my work first before talking about revision. and even nearer is SSEF which is coming up in 2 weeks' time. i really hope it can go well and we can be rewarded for our efforts throughout this project. and there's the experiential programme for prc students which will be for the next two weeks. well, i was quite interested in it when it was first brought up, but with preparation needed to be done for ssef and considering the schedule for the next few weeks, i guess i kinda decided not to go for it, and anyway, it was only opened up to the house D members. surprisingly though, i received a call to sub someone today. slight hesitation, but i decided to take it up in the end, since it is only during school hours so hopefully it wouldn't take up too much of my time for other stuff - elections, ssef, other duties etc. moreover, i did have interest in it, just that i am afraid of the clash with my schedule.

faith keeps us going, courage gives us strength, friendships give us warmth, family gives us support. together, we will get there in the end.

2010-02-27T22:03:00.002+08:00

my sister totally owned me yesterday. I slept at 2am, she slept at 4+am. i woke up at 7am, she woke up at around 6am. champion lol.

anyway, it was HPB and school today. it was harsh reality listening to the case study but i guess it was insightful as well, and we should have expected it. after all, a year ago, i would be as clueless as any other person as to what the organisation is about, but now, i know better. hopefully, something more can be done in the year ahead to raise the profile of YAH and get youths to believe in its cause (: rushed back to school after that for a dry run and took a taxi again >.< for this week, most of my money spent did not go to the buying of food but to transport issues, which is so irritating cuz i could have saved the money and used it in a better way ughh.

oh no, napfa is coming up next week. i better hope i can do it!

2010-02-26T23:49:00.002+08:00

it was fun hanging out with the OG (: lots of fun, laughter and games! totally looking forward to an outing and this time, i will make sure i am free to go!

forget the unhappiness, remember the fond moments

and now i am struggling with graphs to put into the SSEF poster >.< come on, it can be done!

2010-02-25T23:26:00.002+08:00

googoo geegee bahbah mahmah meemee magogagerama

mama papa gorgor jiejie bahpeee boohoo waaaaahhhh

blabbering and baby talk is so wonderful. (:

2010-02-25T21:20:00.002+08:00

today was just so funny XD and at the same time, it was tiring. i was falling asleep almost everywhere i went to, wonder why i am so tired.. on the way home, i saw these young kids on the train, playing scissors paper stone with each other and wearing smiles on their faces. a while later, i saw a kid giving up his seat for the elderly, but the elderly smiled and refused.

don't you just feel so comforted by all these sights? happy young faces, a caring young individual.

when you are young, just about anything can make you happy. be it a simple act or gesture, as long as it's something nice, you will show your happiness. why is it that when people get older, it seems to take much more to make someone satisfied? look at the kids playing scissors paper stone on the mrt, they look so happy even though it's just a relatively simple game and they can have so much fun playing it. well, some may say that they will be making noise and disturbing the public. true to some extent, but when you see them happy, don't you feel happy involuntarily too, as though their smiles and laughter has affected you? such simple happiness is really hard to find as you grow older and older. how many of us would actually play these kind of games in the mrt, in public? reasons such as embarrassing, childish, boring come out, but the fact is that as you grow up, you often demand for something more, something bigger and such simple things no longer satisfy you and you derive not much joy from it. or rather, we have lost ourselves in the face of consumerism. funny how kids always wish they can grow up fastand be adults while adults who are facing problems wish that they can somehow remain as children. ironic

while kids know how to give up their seats, it's weird to see that teenagers and adults hardly know how to do it, save for a few. aren't teenagers and adults supposed to be more educated than small kids and know the values and morals? why is it that some kids know so much more than these people? pretending to sleep, pretending not to see, ignoring those who need the seat more than they do is what most adults seem to think is the right way to act. even kids know better than that. i really hope it's not a case of as we grow older, we become more apathetic ): that would really suck.

hmm, i think this song suits me. i am rather scared of the dark, all the horrible things that it forces me to think of and there's the feeling of being trapped and suffocated.

2010-02-24T20:44:00.005+08:00

were you ever caught in a situation where someone did something really bad to you and when you take revenge by treating the person in exactly the same way he/she treated you in the past, ie returning the treatment in kind, the person make comments like how you are wicked, evil etc? just because you can be easily bullied in the past yet have now shed that pathetic skin and transformed into a stronger person, you changed from a kind person to someone with a black heart? fact is, you are only paying the person back in his/her own kind while retaining your original self in front of others. how can people be so blind to their own wicked deeds when they inflict harm on others? talk about being totally drama. you often see these scenes in dramas, don't you? it's really fascinating how a person's mind works.

and it's super wrong and disgusting to see love being used as a transaction, as a form of currency, as a tool to achieve one's aim. toying with other's feelings, does that give some people a kick? well, the person certainly feels happy when he/she gets something that they want out of the relationship and does not care a hoot about the other person, leaving him/her to feel hurt and betrayed. some people just have no qualms about hurting others, it's always about them and what they want. how about the issue of substitutes? treating someone to be a substitute and then dumping him/her when you get back together with another person? if you did it just to spite someone, can you spare a thought of how the "substitute" would be feeling? is it really that fun to toy with other's feelings?

just listened to “习惯就好” on the radio (: yup, perhaps we just have to get used to all these. after all, you can't change and control how people behave, just got to live with it, grin it and bear it, no matter how much we detest this kind of behaviour.

2010-02-23T23:28:00.003+08:00

politics is dangerous. that's why i don't like politics. it makes the world a much less nice place to live in. with the introduction of politics, people play mind games with each other, people hide their true intentions in front of others, people throw hidden daggers at one another.

people playing with politics, that's the kind of world we are all living in. don't you sometimes wish life can be as simple as 123, instead of the complicated state that we are all experiencing? it would be so peaceful, rid of all worries, just like in fairytales where everything is so straightforward - a bad egg is a bad egg, a nice person will have no tricks up his/her sleeve, crafty people are easily identifiable by all but the unlucky victim who will still end up having a happy ending.

it's scary, with those hypocritical smiles, hidden daggers, backstabbing, double faces, and it's hard to tell who's your true friend. someone can act all friendly and nice in front of you and say nasty stuff about you behind your back. well, it's one thing if you are angry and just need to vent, and another if you dislike someone yet act chummy in front of him/her and make faces when his/her back is turned.

that's why babies and small kids are truly admirable. they are so pure and innocent, without a care in the world. everyone who treats them well, everyone who talks to them, everyone who makes them smile, everyone who extends a hand out to them is considered their friend. no hidden agenda, no motives in trying to get close, it's all about fun, laughter, games and enjoying each other's company. they are completely living in a world of their own, complete with bliss and warmth. sweet.

listen, absorb and neutralise

and i happen to hear the songs on the radio among many other nice songs, sounds good (:

2010-02-22T23:18:00.002+08:00

ate breakfast in the morning at 8.40am and my next meal was 11 hours later at 7.40pm. cool, i skipped lunch without really intending to >.< luckily the snacks were there to keep me alive. before dinner, i could feel that my gastrics were beginning to act up again and if it had been activitated, i would have been tortured by the pain.

my shoulder still hurts, i am starting to think that something else caused it to ache and the wii games just made it worse that's all. oh man, the aching feeling.. i better recover soon, like within these 2 days :S

out of nowhere, a non-physical barrier appears. born out of a misunderstanding, a sentence left hanging, a conversation unsaid. it's not that you hate each other, but neither knows what to say, how to start, and slowly, things become the way they are. "the end of a beautiful relationship". but who is to blame? it's you vs me, your attitude vs my attitude, your thoughts vs mine, your opinions against mine. and each will think it's the other person's problem, for not understanding, for misleading, for leaving things to sort themselves out without clarification. if only people can bring things out into the open to sort them out, the situation may not be as bad. (or, it can be a lot worse) rainie yang and show luo, misunderstanding to good friends?

ssef is coming and it's the time to look for nice designs and backgrounds for the poster again. 3rd poster this time and i think it will be the last haha. doing posters is quite taxing. 1. find a good design 2. put in the content in a nice format 3. check that everything is in order. sounds simple but it's really not =X

2010-02-21T22:10:00.002+08:00

memories.
sparked by a sentence.
sparked by a photo.
sparked by a thought.

think back to the past.
wasn't it wonderful?
wasn't it full of fun and laughter?
wasn't it unforgettable?

look at the present.
much has changed.
memories remain,
but are we still the same?

(shoulder suffering from muscle ache)

2010-02-21T00:55:00.002+08:00

ha, just reached home and it was such a great day! (: fun, food, laughter and luck!

this year must be my lucky year! i won so much money this year during CNY gatherings. normally, i would just break even, or lose or win a bit of money, but this year i just lucked out i guess =D well, after visiting my second uncle's house today, no more CNY house visiting for me anymore. and the last CNY visitor to my house will be my dad's friend, who is coming tomorrow. the CNY spirit is really fading away... but at least it was fun while it lasted...

(back from bathing)

before going to my uncle's house, went to zhiyu's house first with patrick and his classmates. lots of fun, games and food haha, and there's kueh lapis too which i absolutely like! (: it has been so long since i last ate it mmmm. the whole time there was spent mainly on playing wii games and eating and eating and eating. i had the slight misfortune though to sprain my shoulder while playing sword fighting, which still hurts now >.< somehow, it didn't seem to hurt much when we were playing other games after that. oh well, when you are having fun, nothing much seems to matter.

now, chem and econs await... but before that, let rainie yang and show luo take the stage first (:

2010-02-19T17:52:00.002+08:00

headache =X came home and slept for around 2 hours.

and i am done with the last episode of the show (: why oh why did it have to enddddd..... oh well, all good things must come to an end i guess haha.

tomorrow will be a full day out again, morning till night, but at least it promises to be a fun day =D

JIAYOU!!